Losing a pet is one of the most difficult things we can do in our lives. Our pets are our family, intertwined in our day-to-day lives as much as any other one of our family members that we live with (sometimes even more so). For many people, they provide endless companionship and a sense of purpose to their day. So it can certainly be hard to imagine a life without them. But the reality is, our pets live a much shorter life span than us, and it is inevitable that we will eventually have to say goodbye. For many of our clients, they fortunately haven’t experienced losing a pet, so what happens when that time comes may be a little confusing. We’d like to share how we help our clients during this difficult time, so you can have all the understanding you need.
How do we know when it is time?
Choosing the time to say goodbye to your pet is extremely challenging. Even if we know in our hearts that it is the right time, making that decision is one of the hardest things we can do, no matter the circumstances of your pet’s health. It’s important not to rush this decision, and have an in-depth discussion with your family. The main point to consider when it comes to euthanasia, is your pet’s quality of life.
You know your pet the very best, and determining whether or not they still have quality of life. Are they eating? Resting easily? Getting around with ease? Able to go to the toilet voluntarily? Do they have uncontrolled pain? All of these questions are important in determining this answer. The Ohio State University has done detailed research on this, and created a survey to help you answer this question. Follow this link to do the survey if you feel you need to determine your pet’s quality of life.
What happens at the appointment?
If you have decided it is time to say goodbye, we will book your pet in for an appointment with our veterinarians. This appointment is a longer than normal booking, and we often try to book this during our quieter times. Our staff will set you up in our rooms with a comfortable bed for your pet, talk to you about what to expect, and answer any questions you may have. An intravenous cannula will be placed in their leg. This step may need to be done out in our hospital with our support staff. We will give you as much time as you need with your pet in the private consultation room before you decide it is time. The injection works very quickly once administered, and there is no pain.
For aftercare, we have cremation options available with Furry Friends Farewells, or the option of burial. In both instances, we can hold on to your pet afterwards to organise these.
We understand this is extremely difficult, and quite a foreign concept for many of our clients. Please know we are here to provide as much support to you as you need, and ensure this time is done with care and compassion.
Know that grieving is normal
This experience is heartbreaking, and can cause feelings of overwhelming sadness, physical and emotional pain, anger, depression and anxiety. Grief has stages, and all of these feelings are a normal part of this. Everyone handles grief differently, and it is common for it to come in waves. One day you may be coping just fine, and the next day not. This time frame varies for people also. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief.
Tips for handling grief
- Surround yourself with friends and family that understand the loss you have gone through. Some people aren’t necessarily pet people, or may not have understood just how close you were to your pet. These people may not be able to provide you with the support you need at this time, to understand the gravity of your loss.
- Don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed of your feelings. It’s okay to grieve, and as mentioned, this looks differently for everyone, as well as the length of time.
- Allow yourself to deal with the loss as you would any other beloved friend or family member, whether this is holding a memorial, sharing stories with others, and talking about your pet and the loss you feel with others. Feeling closure is an important part of the process.
- Talk to professionals, whether this be us, a counselling hotline such as Lifeline, or an in-person therapist. Even a short conversation when you are feeling down can help you move through these difficult feelings. Our nurses are always here to help, and are just a phone-call away, even if you just need to tell us that you miss them.
- Stay connected to your friends and family, especially if you’re an elderly person and your pet was your companion animal. Fill the time you spent with them picking up a new hobby or meeting up with a friend regularly.
- For children, speak to them openly about the family’s loss, and how much your pet meant to all of you. It’s important to ensure they understand that loss is part of life, and part of loving another.
Tips for helping other pets in your household
Pets living with one another form a tight bond, and when one leaves, it can confuse the household dynamic.
- Look for any signs of distress, including disinterest in food, lethargy, constant pacing or searching, unusual changes in behaviour such as anger.
- Keep routine the same. Your pet/s will likely be out of sorts with a pet gone, and will be looking for a constant and stability to rely on. Ensure you keep to their usual routine to minimise any anxiety, such as daily walks at the same time, regular feed times, the same bed and longue areas etc.
- Pay them attention so they don’t feel so lonely – they will likely be grieving too. Play a game, or sit with them for a pat often. With time, they will recover just as you do.
Please contact us if you have any questions about saying goodbye to your pet, about grief, or anything about this topic. It’s a sensitive one, but we are here for you, and as pet owners ourselves, we understand this incredible bond between you and your pet.
